I have tried to teach my children not to let themselves be defined by others. Reject stereotypes, stand tall, be your own person.

So I'm not sure which former All Black "great" annoys me more right now.

Andy Haden for the suggestion that a mythical "three darkies, no more" selection policy is the reason behind the Crusaders' success - strenuously denied by the team's management, and not backed up by the evidence.

Or the mind-blowingly silly assertion by another ageing ex-All Black, Bernie Fraser, that Pacific Island players need things explained to them with "simple concepts".

Sad to say, this probably reveals more about Fraser and the attitudes prevalent in New Zealand when the Fiji-born former winger was playing rugby, than the Fijian players he once coached.

In an interview over the weekend, Fraser goes on to make the rather strange comment that he had been "the biggest racist out" in his rugby-playing days. "I regard myself as a coconut and I call every other Polynesian a coconut."

Does someone need to explain racism to him in really "simple concepts"?

(Dear Bernie, being "too bloody PC" is not the problem here. It's that race issues are more complicated and sensitive than a quick soundbite suggests.)

My eldest son wanted me to leap to Andy Haden's defence this week because he thinks there may have been some truth to what he said; that he was just being cynical when he uttered the nasty "darkies" word; and that Haden has a point about the physicality of players dictating their style of play.

"If you're strong, maybe you are more likely to go through the wall than around," he says.

It sounds reasonable. My son is a smart 17-year-old, a history and politics buff who has never played rugby. He's doing his best to resist the stereotypes, but he slips too easily into the generalisations being peddled by Haden and others in the rugby fraternity - that New Zealand rugby is being ruined by the dominance of Pacific Island players: big, dim-witted oafs who aren't capable of playing intelligently.

As with any race-based theory, there's always a grain of truth. Everybody knows, don't they, that the island boys are explosive, physical and instinctive, rather than tactical and strategic like the white players.

They're also inclined to pray too much, according to Haden, making their non-religious teammates feel uncomfortable, and causing division in their ranks.

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